LABOUR PAINS
(Zenobi Software)

Spectrum 48K/128K+2


"I'm nine months pregnant, Pete," Julia Brief remarked while tucking into a jar of
Chips Ahoy's celebrated pickled eggs, "and I think the baby's on its way."

"Gordon Bennett! Flaming Nora!" was her husband's reply. "Are you sure?" Julia
nodded her head and Pete went into panic stations mode. "Where's the hot water,
Julia?" exclaimed the alarmed Pete.

"What the deuce do you want hot water for, Pete? Surely you're not going to deliver
the baby yourself? I think it would be better just going to hospital," said Julia.

"No, I need it to get my car started. It never works with cold water in the engine,"
answered Pete truthfully. "And I haven't had it out since I got my revenge on that
pensioner's husband by hurling a water-melon at the old sod and driving off."

"You haven't had it out since I got pregnant, you mean. Oh, sorry, you're talking
about your car. Anyway, I used up all the water for my bath this morning. After all,
I'm not as slim as I used to be" Julia commented, but Pete was on his way out the
door. "Where are you off to, Snookums?"

"Use up all the water, eh? Insult my virility, eh? Call me stupid pet names, eh? Well,
as far as I'm concerned, you can go to hospital yourself, 'cos you obviously don't need
my help!" yelled the by now enraged Pete. Pete left the room and, unable to find the
door (he was blinded with anger), hid under the carpet or "someplace".

"I couldn't get along without you," Julia assured the hidden Pete, but it was to no
avail. Their marriage, for an eighth time, was doomed. She realized she had no
choice but to "go it alone", only hoping that she wouldn't be overcome by her ...

				LABOUR PAINS

Unfortunately, for Julia, the trauma of these events are so overpowering that she needs
your help to guide her on her way to the local hospital. It is important to note that
Julia must be prepared for hospital - that is, she should collect the sort of things she
would need for a stay in hospital and store them safely in an overnight bag or
something of the like. Having never been to this particular hospital, Julia also needs to
provide the "officiating doctor" with details of her medical status and so on. A visit to
the surgery of Dr.Thrust, her own GP, would he beneficial.

NOTES:
* The game is in two parts, access to the second requiring the input of a password.
* The last command can he repeated using the AGAIN command.
* Details of other available facilities can be found by typing VOCAB and INFO.



                                      THE DAILY EXPATIATOR

                                      Midsummer Supplement

                                      Edited by SUSAN BRIEF

          ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to the Midsummer Supplement of                continue the lease with Zikov's Brazil
your Expatiator, the newspaper which always           subsidiary, which offers furniture that is
tells you the truth, the whole truth and             "ergonomically superior to Zikov's other
nothing but the truth, and pulls as many              subsidiaries produce".
punches to bring it to you in its full, unbridled         Lady Hodgkins assured customers
glory. The purpose of the Supplement is to            that the changeover would not prove more
provide you with a concise reference to all the       costly.
local news (no, not gossip) in the Upper
Kissing and Lower Kissing area.                       AGGIE's WIG HAS BEEN FOUND
                                                      reported by T. Turnip
PENSIONER ASSAULTED                                   Local beauty queen Aggie Richards has, at
reported by T. Turnip                                 last, found her prize toupee which was lost
It is sad that assault is still raging in the area.   two years ago. She told the Expatiator "I
On the night of 20 July, a Vauxhall Cavalier          was just throwing a few old mothballs into me
pulled up beside Mr Ignatius Grimwood III,            hubby's (that's Albert, y'know) sock drawer
one of our most respected local citizens, and         when, lo and behold, there was me toupee. I
its driver lobbed a water-melon at the 78-year-       was amazed. It's marvellous to have it back."
old. The car then drove off, its driver yelling,          Mr Richards was last seen running
"Sucks to you, you old prat!".                        away from his irate wife, who was clutching a
    Mr Grimwood is now recovering in                  large meat-cleaver at the time.
hospital. His sister, local celebrity A.
Wonder-land, told the Expatiator that. "Two           UND DIPLOMAS ARE "IN"
years ago, a local thug jettisoned a cucumber         reported by S. Brief
at Ignatius's wife, Stephanie. Unfortunately,         The UND, or Union of Nephology Diploma,
the perpetrator was released due to lack of           which is offered by Upper Kissing's very own
evidence. This is all too frequently                  Union of Nephology, has been accepted by the
happening."                                           University of Bognor Regis
   The police investigation continues.                    Although the UK's other eighty or so
                                                      university institutions have dismissed the
JOB LOSSES AT ZIKOV PLANTS                            UND as "worse than an NVQ Level 1", Bognor
reported by N. McNamara                               Regis's unofficial university's admissions
In a shock announcement last night. Lady              office has stated clearly that they are
Matilda Hodgkins announced that, due to               interested in the diplomas. "It's about time
severely reduced income of the UK subsidiary          we got some students, so why not those with
of Zikov Ltd. the company has been handed             UNDs?" Mr Pebbles Beach, the university's
over to a liquidator, namely Hawkins Plc.             admissions officer, told the Expatiator last
Zikov's four UK plants, including its thriving        night.
Upper Kissing plant, are to be closed down.
    Job losses are estimated to be as                 TYING THE KNOT
many as THIRTEEN local people, the entire             reported by N. McNamara
staff of its Upper Kissing plant.                     We are pleased to announce that Expatiator
                                                      reporter Mrs T. Turnip is to be married to
LEASES TERMINATED                                     local explorer Frank Hawkins this week. Mrs
reported by B. Underwear                              Turnip has said. "Frank's presently in
Further to the job losses at Zikov's Upper            hospital. and I don't mind getting married
Kissing plant, Lady Hodgkins stated that all          there. Have to get myself in first, though."
property on lease from Zikov UK, the local                We will, as always, keep you
hospital being the prime customer, will be            informed!
recalled. Customers will have the choice to


                                 Summer '94, Volume , Issue 1059
